


Stay

by x0xNyteSkyex0x



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-25 20:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1662092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x0xNyteSkyex0x/pseuds/x0xNyteSkyex0x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the company once again in disarray Yunho finds himself giving advice he wishes he'd have followed himself. It turns out Yunho may have some regrets, but is it too late to right things once done?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Regret

Yunho somehow found himself with an armful of a sobbing young Chinese man, and all he could do was rub his back and offer kind words. Well, he would, but the words were stuck on the tip of his tongue, weighing it down it felt like. With a moment of gathering his thoughts he gently pushed the young man away and looked at him, smiling in his friendly way. "Don't lose contact. Don't sit there and regret for years things said, or things you never got to say. Even if you have to fight for it, never let go." His own words felt painful. Words of advice he never took, and it was probably far too late to take them now. He remembered what it was like to lose someone so close, someone he loved. He didn't want to see it happen to someone else. With one last kind ruffle of hair he turned away and promptly left. He didn't want to be there when things slipped further into madness. 

At home he thought things would be easier, he could just numb his mind of his own words with a few beers, but it only frustrated him with each drink. He began to pace about, wearing a line in the carpet, thumbnail chewed ragged, every now and then glancing at his phone and then the clock. How long had it been? It’s almost as though he lost count, like he tried to forget. He hadn’t heard their voices in so long, especially his. God how he wanted to scream, to cry, to say things so long left unsaid, but would it even matter now? Hell would he even answer his phone if he knew it was Yunho calling? What if his number was blocked? Yunho’s mind raced, anxious and unsure. One thing was for sure though, he didn’t know his number anymore but that was and easy fix. Hesitantly he picked up his phone and called the one trustworthy friend he knew would have what he needed. 

“Hello?” A slightly annoyed voice answered, heavy with sleep. Yunho couldn’t speak, still so unsure of himself. This was a mistake, it was so stupid. He should just hang up now and forget it. “Yah! What is it, it’s 3am, this better be good!” 

“Heechul hyung?” His voice shook, and he immediately heard the annoyance in Heechul’s voice turn to concern.

“Yunho? Are you okay?” 

“I…Jaejoong’s number…” He managed, sitting on his couch, forehead in his hand. He glared at the carpet, mentally scolding his tipsy brain for letting him get this far. 

“Oh…I’ll message it to you okay?” Heechul told him, “And…he misses you too, so if you’re worried about that, stop, it’s stupid and you know it is. Just call him and stop questioning yourself.” The line cut and Yunho chuckled softly. Something he appreciated about his friendship with Heechul was that he could always count on him to not only read him like an open book, but also to be straight to the point. It honestly calmed his mind a little. His phone buzzed and he looked the number over, with the small message under it saying “Don’t overthink this, just do it. It’s about time.” He nodded, as if reassuring himself, and made quick work of dialing the numbers, and as it rang he heard a familiar tone. Love in the Ice. As if this wasn’t emotional enough. Tears welled slowly, blurring his vision and he laughed, just listening before a voice hesitantly answered. 

“Hello?” There he was, the voice he hadn’t heard in years. Yunho leaned back against the couch, breathing out and smiling, quiet tears rolling down his cheeks, leaving cooling trails behind them. 

“Jaejoong…it’s nice to hear your voice again.” He heard something crash on the other line. He heard Jaejoong’s voice catch and listened to him search for words or maybe the correct emotion. 

“Why...Why are you calling me?” He sounded so lost even though he was trying to sound angry.  
“I know…you must be mad at me,” Yunho began, choosing his words carefully, “I wouldn’t even blame you if you hated me, but…something is happening with the company and it just kind of brought a lot of old things up…I have regrets Jaejoong” He finished so simply, hearing his voice crack and shake a little, burying his face in his hand once again and trying to control himself. 

“…” the line was quiet, save for the sound of Jaejoong’s breath. In his home Jaejoong felt panicked, shocked, and scared. All these years he’d never seen Yunho cry, not even when he was leaving. The man didn’t break down, he was strong and stubborn. A captain who would go down with his ship, even if there was a way out, even if it meant certain death. “Like what?” He finally spoke up, each second of silence feeling like an eternity.

“I want to see you,” Yunho said, sudden and direct. “Tonight. I need to.”

“Then come…you know where I am…you’ve always known.” His voice sounded so dejected, it broke Yunho’s heart. The line went silent, and then with a click, dead. For a moment Yunho stared at his keys on the coffee table, weighing his options, debating if this was a smart thing to do. Every part of his brain was telling him to stop, that he wasn’t thinking straight, that he could get trouble and was it worth it? Was Jaejoong worth it? Yes. He grabbed his keys, his coat, quickly slipping shoes on and was out the door and in his car in seconds. He drove fast, faster than he should he was sure, but he couldn’t stop, scared he would talk himself out of this.  
When he arrived, he rushed out of his car, knowing he needed to be allowed in but it seemed the doorman was ready for him and immediately let him into the luxurious apartment complex and given direction for where to go. With a nod he quickly moved passed him, stepping into the elevator and heading up. He was wringing his hands together, almost jittery, though he managed to take a deep breath and compose himself when the elevator dinged. He moved though the hall, blood rushing in his ears and drowning out his own steps, hand shaking as he lifted it to knock gently at a door. 

The door opened, a little slowly, and there stood Jaejoong in a comfortable looking top and loose pants. He was probably trying to rest when Yunho called. Remnants of eyeliner still lined his eyes, his short black hair a mess, looking as though it had been quickly combed through with fingers. He looked so masculine, so unlike the pretty Jaejoong he remembered. This Jaejoong was thin, made of lines and edges. Thanks to various fans Yunho knew he looked this way for a role, but he still wasn’t exactly ready to see it up close. Jaejoong noticed his staring, though he wasn’t doing much better. Yunho watched as Jaejoong’s eyes moved over him, seeing the weight Yunho knew he gained, the way he wasn’t as built, or the differences in his face. “Come in,” Jaejoong finally spoke, moving from the door to allow Yunho inside. He stepped in and took off his shoes and coat, seeing Jaejoong watch him so carefully. “I will…make coffee…do you still take milk and sugar?” Yunho nodded, and Jaejoong was gone, leaving Yunho to look around for a moment. 

He took in the décor, black and white, simple, yet elegant. It was spacious, almost lonely, but it smelled like home. It smelled clean, and like Jaejoong’s cologne. Yunho walked to the couch and sat down, waiting impatiently for Jaejoong’s return, his knee bouncing. He watched him come back with two mugs, eyes following his movements. He took the mug as Jaejoong sat all the way on the other end of the couch. “This place is beautiful.” He stalled a bit, taking a sip of the hot coffee. “Is this what you always dreamed of?” 

“Why are you here?” Jaejoong suddenly countered, “It’s been years…why now? Why not years back when I was desperately trying to get ahold of you in every way I knew. Why not on my birthday when I got drunk and cried and screamed at my sisters and friends, begging them to bring you back to me, when I tried time and time again to call and you never answered.” He looked so angry and hurt, pained questions reflected in his eyes.

“Jaejoong...” He was cut off. 

“Please don’t make excuses, please don’t tell me there was absolutely nothing you could do. After all this time I can’t take that, just tell me the truth. We have mutual friends we could have kept in contact through if the company was such a hindrance. I know the way we went about things wasn’t the best, I know we hurt you and Changmin. We just wanted to make things better…no one should have to live the way we did.” He stopped himself, taking a deep breath and sipping his coffee, trying to calm down. He closed his eyes and sighed deep before opening them again. “Why are you here Yunho?”

“Like I said on the phone… something happened in the company, something that reminded me of us, especially us...” he explained, hoping Jaejoong understood, and of course he did. “I said something and it just stuck with me all day, it drove me crazy. I called Heechul and got your number and here I am.” He set his mug down and looked over to him, seeing how he sat so defensively, knees to his chest. “I have regrets Jaejoong… I just want to know if it’s too late to do anything about them.”  
“What do you regret?” Jaejoong finally managed to look up, looking at Yunho’s face. 

“Not trying harder, not keeping touch, staying angry for so long that I just lost…” He took a deep breath, “I regret losing you, I regret letting myself lose you. I’m an idiot and I know I am. You could have handled everything better, but so could have we. You at least tried to contact me…I’ve gone out of my way to avoid you. We’re both at fault but at least you tried.” Jaejoong uncurled a bit, setting his mug down as well.

“I don’t blame you. All these years I thought you hated me and I never blamed you,” He said softly, relaxing a bit. “I think about you every day…we all do. You and Changmin. We wonder if things have gotten better, if you’re eating well, if you’re happy. We look you two up online all the time. At least I do.” He slowly stood and walked passed Yunho, getting into his music collection and pulling out all of the TVXQ albums since their split, laying them out on the coffee table in front of Yunho. “I’ve been doing my best to support you two. You’re both amazing, and, even though I hate that we don’t share the stage anymore, I’m proud of you. It’s not too late Yunho. It would never be too late. I still love you”


	2. Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After facing their fears Jaejoong and Yunho begin the process of healing old wounds and finding comfort in one another once again

“You still love me?” Yunho’s voice held awe, as well as disbelief. 

“I never stopped. I was so angry at first, and hurt. After I didn’t hear from you for so long I decided to move on, but every now and then you were still all I could think about. I kind of pushed my feelings to the back of my mind, but they never really went away. I started comparing everyone else to you.” Jaejoong admitted, sitting next to him on the couch again, closer this time. 

“Since we’ve been apart have you…been with anyone?” He cautiously asked, full well knowing the answer, but he had to hear it from Jaejoong’s mouth. Jaejoong was a beautiful person with glamorous and beautiful friends. Yunho would be an idiot to think he was untouched after all this time. 

“Yes, of course I have.” He answered honestly, looking over at Yunho. “Have you?” His heart sunk as Yunho shook his head, “Oh…I’m so-“ Yunho cut him off. 

“There’s no reason to be sorry, I’m not mad. You thought things were over and you tried to move on. Anyone else would have done the same.” He looked Jaejoong in the eyes, his words completely sincere. “Are you seeing anyone now?” 

“No. Like I said I compare everyone to you, because of that I tend to end up in nothing but flings. They’re nice but they never get the chance to go deeper than that.” He was quiet for a moment before speaking again, “I waited a year. I did wait for you, and after a whole year of not hearing from you, that’s when I decided to try to move on. Why didn’t you do the same?” 

“It’s not like I didn’t want to…well…maybe I didn’t. I threw myself into work more than ever, I had to look out for Changmin, for the name of TVXQ. I knew things would be harder with just the two of us. For a while I thought Changmin would leave too. He seemed so absolutely done with everything, like he couldn’t stand being there, more so than usual, but once we were on stage again things got better. It was like he got his spark back and I knew we needed to work hard, constantly, to keep things from crumbling. I never had time for anything else.” While Yunho spoke, Jaejoong nodded in understanding. He always had known that Yunho thrived on work and his career. The busier he was, the happier he was, even at the risk of his own health. 

“What does all of this mean for us Yunho? A few hours ago if someone had told me you’d come rushing back into my life I probably would have laughed at them, and here you are. I don’t want to lose you again.” Tears pricked the corner of Jaejoong’s eyes, and he laughed, a sad soft little chuckle. “Fuck…I thought I was done crying over you.” He laughed again, wiping his eyes. A shaking hand slipped into his making him look up, dark eyes staring into his own. 

“I don’t plan on going anywhere, I don’t think my heart could take it anymore than yours could.” Yunho reached out and gently wiped a tear, drawing Jaejoong closer to lean into him, embracing carefully. He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, both knowing it would take time to heal and trust again, but this was a good start. They held each other for some time, tight and without words. It felt familiar, it felt right, and it felt like home. 

The night carried on, the two talking, sharing memories of the old days, and stories of the new. They talked of their members and how they were doing, where they were, all the while keeping their bodies close, fingers twined. The sun started to appear in the sky before Yunho could pull himself away, promising to come back the following night. “I’ll hold you to it,” Jaejoong simply said, a soft smile on his lips making his face practically shine, but they both knew he was worried he wouldn’t come back. Yunho promised he would never put either of them through that again. The next day went about as usual, though the company was in total chaos over the sudden change in a group. Yunho spent his time with Changmin practicing, attending schedules, and filming those silly little mission games they made the two of them do. At one particularly quiet moment throughout their long day Changmin spoke. “Kyuhyun told me, you know Heechul can hardly keep anything to himself.” 

“And?” Yunho looked at him, not annoyed or upset, just sincerely open to the concerns of one of his closest friends. 

“And…I just want you to be careful. I don’t know how much you remember from the last time you two broke each other’s hearts, but I do. I remember you drunk and upset. I remember how it seemed like you had just given up on everything, and how everything was your fault. I don’t want to see you go through that again.” Changmin expressed, his words thought out and cool. He always exuded this odd sense of responsibility defying his true age. It was something to be admired. 

“Don’t worry. We’ve grown since then. So have you. I want him back in our lives, I want them all back in our lives. I have no intention of letting him go again.” Yunho said in such a matter a fact way that Changmin had no choice then to completely put his faith in him. He was silent for a moment, thinking before looking up and offering that bratty smile.

“If he hurts you I have every right to punch him in the face.” They both started to laugh, and it looked like everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright we’re going to stop here for now. I’m sorry this took longer than expected, I ended up having a rather eventful week. If I’m not mistaken the next chapter should be where the rating goes up, at least that’s the plan so far. These things have a tendency of getting a little out of control. Your comments keep me writing guys and I really can’t thank you enough for the insane amount of support the first chapter got. Far more than I expected honestly. Thank you again.

**Author's Note:**

> Awful place to end the chapter I know, but this alone took FAR TOO LONG for my liking. I originally intended for this to just be a long oneshot but from the looks of it this may end up being 2 or, at most, 3 chapters. I plan to get them out as quickly as I can. I really hope you all enjoyed this, I was so careful with it, just wanting to get the emotions right. Comments are love!


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